Honestly, nobody knows how much I love to sit somewhere in the darkness and think. Thinking about the past, the mistakes I've done, I'm making and thinking and thinking of every aspect of life that matters for me. Not surprisingly it's often very sad, hey common it's life, sometimes I blowup, sometime I wish I had belief in a superstition, a religion, you know something to rely on.
I was thinking on how internet influenced these current events in Iran. Yes I know I'm not the first one here, but given the fact that Iran was the nation I flee from, simply because I wasn't able to fit in the society, the behaviors, the beliefs of the people and the society as a whole was unacceptable for me, and vice versa I've seen myself totally unacceptable for the society, my family and even some of my close friends, and when I think of why and how that difference originated, I find internet was very influential on me, this subject that how these days internet is so significant in Iran is very interesting for me. I remember I was spending all my after-school time in my uncle's office to browse the web and Yahoo clubs. My English was terrible, I had to print my e-mails, and read them at home using a dictionary. I started learning how life is outside Iran. What's important for people in the world and you can expect by the world I mean the US. Almost every resource that was interesting for me and available in English, every Yahoo club I joined, every website I browsed was in the US. As a matter of confession, the internet has changed my life twice: first when it opened my eyes to the more-real-world and second when I found online dating. Simply I met people who I had much in common. The ones I felt I was comfortable with happened to be in two groups: people like me who’d started using internet in Iran early, before the censorship starts, they like me have been really influenced by the net, and the people who were living or had been lived in the west. It was me a to-some-extend virgin high school student facing a world very different than what I've learnt it is and the people who I was most comfortable with, more than I was in the family.
OK, It can be a long story, I just wanted to say the internet made me think twice about the customs, especially the strict religious ones, internet helped me know myself, gave me confidence, internet was where I first tasted the feeling of self expression, being myself, I have my life, my love, my job because of the internet.
I'm certainly pessimistic about what's happening in Iran, people there aren't ready for a reform, at least something that make me trust my nation again. The internet hasn't had an influence on them similar to what it has done to me. People are not using internet to see what the world really is, they’re just joining local communities, browsing Persian language resources. I think Iran cannot have a democratic government, Iran is years back to have basic civil rights recognized in, not because a strong Islamic system is governing now, but because it is the will of people. People are not ready to accept a more liberal style of governance and especially its consequences. Don't forget people of Iran, including my very family are very religious, and they strongly believe in Shia thesis.
For now, for people like me, it doesn't really matter what would be the outcome, I believe whatever it would be it hardly affect my view on Iran (and vice versa), I can't live a safe, enjoyable life, with the people I love in my preferred life style there.
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